Friend (who shall remain nameless): Wait, how did you fix that?
Me: I just did
Friend: No really, I tried everything. I’m not dumb!
Me: No, you’re not dumb at all. You just forget, I’m REALLY smart
This exchange amused me, so I thought I’d share.
(and when you reads this, anonymous friend, remember that I only associate with bright people)
While sitting and listening to Maryanne read the girls some fairy tales before bed, I noticed a couple things.
Ok seriously. He has a beanstalk grow outside his house and then he climbs up to discover a giant’s castle. DISCOVERS a giant’s castle. This means he had no idea the giant existed. It wasn’t like he climbed up and said “oh, this is the castle of that giant that rampages across the land, stomping on people and lowering property values like a tornado in a trailer park.”
No, this was just some random giant that kept to himself in his castle. He could have been a nice hardworking giant who made his money in landscaping or something.
So what does Jack do? He not only steals the goose that lays the golden egg (ok, that’s probably how the giant made his money, but my point still stands), but he goes back again to steal more stuff. What happens when the giant comes to reclaim his property? That’s right, Jack chops down the beanstalk and the giant dies.
The more I think about this, the more I think it’s anti-Libertarian propaganda. ”Oh poor me, I was dumb enough to squander my cow and get some beans, so it’s perfectly acceptable to commit larceny and homicide.”
Basically, Jack is a little murderous thieving jerk with a sense of entitlement.
The other story being read was Puss In Boots. Ok, we all know that cats are pretty much worthless. That’s something of a given. If someone asks “name one cat that ever did anything” the story of Puss in Boots comes to mind.
So what did this cat do that was so noteworthy? That’s right, he lied. Through a series of lies and misdirection, the cat finagles a way for his master to marry a princess and have a castle.
Now you might say this was a noble effort since he was doing it for someone else, but when you really think about it he was basically setting up “his human” to be able to pamper the cat for the rest of his 9 lives.
Like all cats, Puss in Boots is a self serving miscreant.
Don’t even get me started on Snow White.
See these beauties?
These are my favorite pair of headphones OF ALL TIME. I got them about 9 years ago at the Sony outlet store down in San Diego. They were refurbs even. Who knows how old they actually were. These headphones have great sound and are perfect for the office or the plane because their imposing size is a clear “I don’t want to talk to you” signal.
Unfortunately, my beloved headphones have met an untimely death. It’s not that they died, or a driver blew. Nope, I rolled over the headphone jack in my chair.
That’s right, I murdered my beloved pair of MDR-V700s.
During a week where life was kicking me repeatedly in the small intestine, I committed headphoneicide.
After debating the pros and cons of trying to do a patch job with some spare parts, I did what any headphone slayer would do…I looked for my next victim.
After years of great service by the ole MDR-V700s, it was with heavy heart that I placed an order for these:
That’s right, a brand spanking new pair. When you find something that reliable, it’s hard to try something new. There’s some sound advice for you, kids.
I had forgotten about this funny webcomic about movies called “Joe Loves Crappy Movies“. It’s pretty self exlanatory. He likes crappy movies! Anyway, while catching up on the comics I have missed, I came across this gem:
Spider-Man is saying "Hey, if you get to be on my cover, can I be on the dollar bill?"
Yesterday’s issue of the Amazing Spider-Man had a variant cover featuring Barack Obama. For those not familiar, a variant cover is a alternate cover of a particular issue that is produced in limited numbers. Typically it’s done just to fuel the collector market. This issue was no different. The current store we go to instantly jacks up the price on particular variants. I totally disagree with this policy, but since I usually don’t care about variants, it’s not that big a deal for me. Personally, I think if you are a regular subscriber to a comic, you should get a variant. Joe at Atlantis does it that way, which is another reason it’s the best comic store evah (number one reason is because that’s how I got to know my dear wife ((eventhough she totally flaked on me multiple (((3((((how many times can I nest aside comments?!?!)))) ))) times when I tried to ask her out)) !)
Well, our comic store had it marked up to $39 and when I went in, they were checking out all the auctions on ebay, with it selling for crazy amounts of money. So on a whim, I picked up a copy. I listed it on e-bay and Amazon marketplace for $99.95.
Woke up this morning to see an email from Amazon saying that it sold. How crazy is that? A quick $50 profit after shipping.
I guess Obama is already redistributing the wealth!
…but since I have already launched one sneak attack, I felt it best to post this here instead of on her site:
Much like my wonderful wife, I took this idea from Cameron.
1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Men in a War – Suzanne Vega
I’m inscrutable!
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Miles Runs the Voodoo Down – Miles Davis
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?.
Monkeys and Guns – Eddie Izzard
do I really need to comment on this?
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Three to Get Ready – Dave Brubeck
Apparently Dave has been at my house whenever I’m trying to get the girls out of the house 
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Hotwax – Beck
Only Beck truly understands me!
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak- Macy Gray
hey now!
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
When I Get Home – Beatles
especially start thinking that around 4 in the afternoon
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND(S)?
The Grasshopper Unit – Beastie Boys
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Raspberry Swirl – Tori Amos
Oh Tori, you scamp!
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Nightmare Hippy Girl – Beck
Again, only Beck understands me!
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Seven Months – Portishead
I want to crawl around all day and be fed? Hrm…
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
No Quiero Celos Contigo – Compay Segundo
si.
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Party Like A Rock Star – Red Elvises
Sure, if that “rock star” is an Osmond
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?!
Changes- David Bowie
profound
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Witchcraft – Wolfmother
Ok, this cracked me up!
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Everlasting Now – Prince
Who’s going to argue with Prince?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash
Probably why I don’t have a lot of friends
WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Rodeo Clowns – Jack Johnson
well, kinda is
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Nothing to Say – Soundgarden
Apparently my iPod is being tight lipped about this bit of info
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Let the Big Wheel Roll – Guadalcanal Diary
I never should have let that big wheel keep going!
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Spaceboy – The Smashing Pumpkins
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Rehab – Amy Winehouse
so true
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Dats My Part – DJ Shadow / Q-Tip
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Four Women – Nina Simone
I’m not telling you WHICH four
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Waiting – The Like
True, I’m waiting to figure this out
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The Waitress – Tori Amos
She knows what she did!
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Defying Gravity – Wicked
hahaha
There’s something I have been wondering for a while: how much do Prius drivers really care about the environment? Considering the toxidity of the materials that go into making the batteries and the huge carbon footprint generated by shipping all the parts around, is it really good for the environment?
What really got me thinking about this is the numerous times I have had to accelerate to get around someone driving a Prius under the speed limit in the fast lane. I had to explode a whole lotta dead trees and dinosaurs to accelerate past your traffic block.
I mean seriously, if you’re going to be driving a slow car, get thee to the slow lane!
that is all
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